I’ve had a week that’s felt a bit like this guy’s… all tangled up in a fucking tree. I’m not sure exactly where it went. Because I got nothing done. I found myself sucked into twitter more than I should have been. Dang… what a time suck that is. But you guys are so funny! Good times. If you haven’t followed me, come get in on the conversation… @bullcasm. Or you can click the follow link in the sidebar.
Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
Anyway, yo… some good shit going down this week. I found this little tidbit “in the news.” I think I may have to get me soma this action. How sexy is this!? Chinese ladies are getting into “hairy manleg stockings” to “turn guys off.” There is such an array of things I could say here. But I’ll refrain. Mostly because I hate nastygrams from readers. But can you imagine? If this isn’t just a publicity stunt, this would ROCK. I could stop shaving and pretend I’m hot… just wearing “stockings” to stave off would-be lechers. Too bad the hair lasering is working. I lack a truly impressive coat. Dammit. I guess I’d look like I bought the cheap knock offs. Oh well. That’ll work too. Check out the whole story.
While we’re talking about stuff we’ve got to have, check this out. When they say, there’s an app for everything, they’re not kidding. Have you ever worried that you’ll forget where you’ve pooped? “Hmmm. I seem to have misplaced something. Where did I leave that?” Or perhaps you’re not facebooking quite enough. And an app that simplifies telling everyone where you just took a dump is just what you’re looking for. Well here you go, people. There’s an app for that. I swear, I think some people I’ve seen on facebook are already using this. Facebook: the place where oversharers go to talk about their last meal and their last shit. There’s a golden tag line in there somewhere. You’re welcome, facebook.
The rest of these photos are compliments of Epic Fail. Which, if you haven’t checked it out, beware. It will suck the rest of your time that you have left after twitter, and cause you to snort in line at the grocery store. Learn from my mistakes, friends.
This sign was, of course my favorite. Given my recent experience with the local poo flingers, (need to catch up?) this sign would have been very useful to avoid issues before they became steaming bags of crap in my planter. Though I don’t have grandchildren. I would cross it off and put, “my husband.”
And then we have this gem. Dude. Where have you been all my life? I can only imagine this is pure chick magic. Boy, you charmer, you. The man of any girls’ dreams. Ok. Maybe some.
I wonder if t-shirt guy ^^^ has a kid. But no, seriously dads, farting is hysterical. Especially when you let ’em rip in the car. With the windows up. Those are especially funny. Which is why mom’s post cute things like this on the internet. Note: my children did not do this particular work of art. If they did, it would have said, “when he farts on the dog’s head.” He’s a giver. Not a waster.
And lastly, I know we’re always harping on the importance of punctuation. Ok, maybe we’re not. But roll with me on this. Punctuation can be the difference between helping your uncle Jack, off a horse; and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
Proper spacing can be just as crucial.
Have a good weekend!
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