Learn from my mistakes, people. Not that this would ever happen to any of you. I was off my game. Obviously.
Hubby: Does this shirt look too short?
Me: Mmmmaaaaybe a little.
Hubby: Ya. I’m pretty sure it shrunk.
Me: You know, I’ve been meaning to complain about that laundress. I think we should replace her.
Hubby: What?
Me: Her work is a little questionable. And she’s bitchy. She’s doesn’t even turn the socks right side out.
Hubby: Um. We don’t have a laundress. You do the laundry.
Me: Exactly!
Hubby: But you’re free. Why would we pay someone, when you do it for nothing?
Me: She’d do a better job?
Hubby: But you’re FREE. I don’t have to pay you to do the laundry.
Me: When you think about it, I’m not free. I don’t exactly have inexpensive taste.
Hubby: (sound of an air mattress deflating)
Me: And there’s the shoe problem. And the handbag addiction. And let’s not forget the liquor bill.
Hubby: You’re right. I probably should replace you.
Me: Um. Wait. I didn’t really think this one through.
Hubby: You don’t say.
Me: Well, you know, considering that you’re aware my domestic skills are remedial, at best…
Hubby: At best.
Me: … and yet, you still expect me to do the laundry. If you think about it, this is your fault.
Hubby: (stink eye) Obviously.
Me: Did you ever consider that your shirts haven’t shrunk?
Hubby: (screamy) Do you think you’re helping your case at this point?
Me: Um. I’m going with no?
•••
Maybe crafting an argument after a few glasses of wine isn’t the best plan.
