If a camel winks at you, just run.

I know, this is an old one. I saw it a few years back. And I’m pretty sure I laughed my ass off at that point. Though I can’t be certain. Let’s be honest. The older I get, the less I remember. But it’s totally in my nature to disregard the horrifying reality, and go straight for laughs at the expense of someone’s life… or lack thereof. Ya, I suck like that. Stop nodding your heads in agreement. You people are here, which makes you just as bad, by association. Isn’t it cool how I drag you down with me? Welcome to the trailer park, people.

Anyway, I ran across this again the other day. Initially I laughed myself into a snort. But I started thinking about it. Poor Pam woke up that morning, and may or may not have thought about a camel ride. But I’m thinking her expectations probably would have been more like her in the saddle, rather than her ginormous furry friend doing the riding. I’m certain she never expected to go this way. Who would, right?

I mean, for crying out loud, I hope the last thing I see before I die isn’t a camel penis coming at me. There are for sure worse ways to go. But how much would it suck, knowing that what was going on was the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you, while at the same time knowing you’d never be able to tell anyone. Mostly cuz you’d be dead.

So I just wanted to say, R.I.P. Pam. I’m sorry your camel was so rapey. What an asshole. Although I think we’ve all known for a long time that camels are assholes, right? And I’m really sorry I laughed. Both times. And to the rest of you, if you ever see a camel with a boner, it’s probably best not to stick around. Just run. I don’t know why I’m thinking in a zig-zag pattern. Or maybe that’s just alligators. Oh well, it probably can’t hurt. You’re totally welcome.


P.S. Spell check is telling me there’s no such word as boner. No wonder this spell check is so uptight.

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4 Thoughts on “If a camel winks at you, just run.

  1. This might be the best thing I’ve read…EVER…
    “R.I.P. Pam. I’m sorry your camel was so rapey. ”

    This entire thing makes me want to go back in time and un-yell at my ex-husband for laughing about when their helicopter skids bonked a camel in Saudi Arabia. That really happened, apparently. Including my yelling.

    • Karma, right!? I’m sure whatever that camel did that morning in Saudi Arabia, he totally deserved the heli-skid whack. Camels are total dicks. I wanted to ride one in Morocco when we were there, like 20 years ago. But after watching them for a bit, with other people riding them, and being within smell-range, I changed my mind. Assholes, I tell you! Rapey, stinky assholes.

      • My kids are always asking to ride the ones at the zoo, and as much as I want to shell out $5 each for them to walk in a circle, I am torn between my desire to NOT exploit an animal and my desire for my car to NOT smell like the mammalian equivalent of a spitting dumpster.

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