If you’ve got antidepressants, apparently today’s the day to take them. Some study said today is “the worst Monday of the year.” Yup, I don’t know… I heard it on the news this morning, so it’s got to be true.
Don’t ask me how they know this, or who wasted dedicated their time to do this supervaluable study. Or better still… who FUNDED this contribution to the world’s knowledge base. But the “fact” is, today is the suckiest Monday of all… so if you make it through this one, it’s an easy ride for the rest of the year. Yay, you.
I suppose it could also be a valid excuse to act like a total dickwagon. So if there’s anyone you’ve wanted to shower with nasty attitude, today could be your day. Because tomorrow you’d be excused… after all, it was “the worst day of the year.” They’d have to forgive you. Or not. Whatever. But I’m thinking that could have been their motivation to do the study. Someone needed one day out of the year to be a total a-hole, and be excused. Because, you know, we’re not really responsible for our actions. Something “made me” drink a truckload of bourbon and get behind the wheel. It was “the worst Monday of the year.”
I think I might call my mother in law today. I’d be excused for anything I might say. Ya know… worst Monday.
Anyway, happy new year, everyone. I’ve got a half a box of See’s candy and a full prescription of Xanax. I should be able to make it through the day.
Cheers!
P.S. Spell check just told me that suckiest, supervaluable and dickwagon are not words. It has so much to learn.
P.P.S. If you drink a truckload of bourbon, give someone your keys and stay home. And put down a drop cloth. Because, well, it’s not going to end well. And you’ll thank me when the clean up is easier. Which is good, because the hangover won’t be.
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