Me: I’m a little concerned about your gummy bear vignette. Are you…
My son: I don’t do drugs, mom.
Me: It’s still a little disturbing. I prefer sacrifice and cannibalism.
My son: Mom, seriously, I don’t do drugs.
Me: But you understand why this sort of thing is a little disturbing, right?
My Son: Ya. But I don’t do drugs.
Me: I mean, at least I’m pretty sure with the sacrifice and cannibalism, I have nothing to worry about.
My Son: Ok. You got me. I’m totally doing drugs, mom.
Me: Shut up. Don’t be a douche nugget.
My Son: Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re not a great mom.
P.S. This conversation actually makes more sense if you read this post and this post.